so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
