I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
