so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
