Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
