i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
