left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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