so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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