I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
