my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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