He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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