We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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