Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
it glows. i had to have it.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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