Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
