god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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