i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
