so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
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