they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
