i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
