But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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