The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
