I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
