Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
