Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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