It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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