There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize