Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
