im holly from the hills drunk
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
