I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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