But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
