you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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