fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
