I have demons in me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
