so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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