You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
