TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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