According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize