Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
