I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
