ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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