A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
