Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize