Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
