Can Purell be used as lube?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
