the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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