My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
