so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
