omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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