Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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