the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
