I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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