I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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