I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
