Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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