You're so nebulous sometimes
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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