6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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