Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
