saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
