You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
