What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize