Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
