I'm eating all of the evidence.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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